Oh, No!!!

I better take this occasion to catch you all up on the teachers of patience the Lord has been sending my way. First of all I want to state unequivocally that I have NOT been praying for patience. I guess the Lord just thinks I need a reminder. Let me set the stage for you. This will take awhile so get comfortable and read on.

Here goes. For several weeks I have been putting up with a rash on my lower legs and ankles. It has come and gone over the last couple years. One doctor says it is “itchitygimlesdermofunnystufforother.” Or something like that. He says, “Here, fill this prescription and rub the stuff on.” So I have. Maybe it helps. Maybe it is simply time that helps. I don’t know. The problem is that it itches. Let me say that again, IT ITCHES. The salve helps but so does scratching the skin off! It seems to be heat sensitive. More heat, more itching. Less heat, it is somewhat tolerable. So I don’t wear socks over my ankles, and I sleep with my feet uncovered. Yes, they do get cold. Remember that hot weather I mentioned in the last post? The rash started a few days after the warm weather started. The warm weather went away, the itching is going away – very slowly.

I know some of you like pictures so I’ll try to accommodate. Here are my legs. Well, they could be, you know!

Another doctor said it was due to my legs swelling due to the increased blood pressure medication I was taking due to my blood pressure being a little too high. Doctor number one said to do this but warned my legs might swell. I was seeing doctor number two because I had an ingrown toenail that needed to be cut out. Cringe at this point if you want to. WARNING: the following material is for mature audiences only. Reader discretion is advised. Actually the surgery went very well. No pain at all. Injecting the deadening stuff with two shots into the top of my toe and two into the bottom about sent me through the roof. Except he was holding my foot down. After everything was comfortably asleep he took his diabolical looking scissors and cut up my toenail about a quarter inch from the edge. Then he took his needle nose plies, got a good grip on the little strip of nail and pulled it out. It was really funny to watch because I knew it should hurt like… well, like everything. But it didn’t. Then he used his 6-inch cotton swabs to poke some nail-killing stuff up in the spot where my nail used to be. He said that part of the nail would never grow back. Good. So I have been doctoring that spot so it heals without getting an infection. So far, so good.

And here are my toes!!!

Then (see, this goes on and on)… then last week my back started hurting me – down in the lower back. I have had this happen from time to time but it would always go away after two or three days. This isn’t going away (although as I write this it is better). So I have worn a back brace part of the day. I have tried a few patches of IcyHot Medicated Pain Relief. After all, Shaquille O’Neal says it works and he wouldn’t lie to me would he? Actually, it does help. What really helps is standing up or laying down. Sitting is not good (and I’m sitting right now in terrible excruciating pain making a great sacrifice to communicate with you, my faithful dear reader. ((A tear would be appropriate about now.)) You may send donations to my home address).

And this is my back. See where it hurts? Right down there.

So it’s legs itching, toe hurting, back aching…

…and now we come to Sunday last. It was Memorial Day weekend. We had a great worship time at church remembering. Then Joyce and I packed the car and we headed to Eugene. The objective was to clean mom and dad’s grave. In the last post I said a day of rain was coming. Remember that? Well, it has rained ever since. My garden is about to drown. But I digress. It was supposed to be a rainy day so we were prepared with dry clothes to change into and old blankets and towels to put down in the car to protect the upholstery. We went to Creswell first to pick up my sister, Beth. She was house sitting at my niece Betty’s place. Then to the cemetery.

Here I need to draw a mental picture for you. Close your eyes and imagine this as you read. This is an old non-upkeep cemetery. A nonprofit has been formed to mow the grass, clean things up, and keep the gate locked to deter vandalism. Mom and dad are buried in the lower corner near the road. To get there I drove my car in the main gate, then a short ways to a road that went down the hill, then left along the property line where it ends just beyond the grave site. You must understand this is a rural setting and the roads are well-packed gravel with grass growing up in them. The place we parked was at the end of this access road, with trees on the right and the graves on the left. My folks are buried about three rows up. I had brought with me: 5 bags of red lava rock to freshen up what is there, a rake, a shovel, two trowels, a scraper, gloves, rags, three gallons of water, and some bleach to help remove the moss. We were prepared to fix this place up real nice, rain or shine. It was shining. Beautiful day. We are just getting started, I was scraping moss when I heard Joyce say, “What is that car doing?” I heard an engine rev and then a real loud CRASH. I turned around this is what I saw:

I was not angry but I admit I was irritated. I had a small bottle of water in my hand; I threw it to the ground and walked over to the lady who had just gotten out of her car. I didn’t yell at her. Joyce said I asked, “What were you thinking?” I’m thinking she just wasn’t paying attention and backed up too far. She said her foot slipped off the brake and onto the gas (which would account for the revving engine I heard). Her car is a Mercedes SUV. It weighs almost as much as a Sherman tank. With a trailer hitch in the back. She knocked my car at least the length of the car and up onto a pile of dirt at the end of the road.

As you can see she pretty much obliterated the back of my car. My trunk lid was up and a lot of glass you see is from her rear window. The good side: she had two passengers with her and no one was hurt, I was not standing at the back of my car getting something out; she has good insurance; it wasn’t raining which would have made the day miserable, and … now you have to appreciate this … my nephew, Will, who lives in Alaska walked up about 10 minutes after it happened. He was down here visiting and decided to visit the cemetery at just that time. He brought us home and his friend took Beth back to Creswell.

So now my car is in a repair shop. I don’t know yet if they will fix it or total it. I drove my pickup today and will get a rental car tomorrow. And I’m saying, “Okay Lord, you have my attention. Is it patience you are wanting to teach me? Or something else?”